


Portfolio Review

by AaronStack51



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Nextwave (Comic)
Genre: Aeromarine, Gen, H.A.T.E., Lizard Squeezings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-26
Updated: 2013-11-26
Packaged: 2018-01-02 16:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1059024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AaronStack51/pseuds/AaronStack51
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before there was a team, there was a.....portfolio review? The untold origin of the Nextwave Squad, now brought to you in full 3-D glor--What do you mean there's no 3-D? *sigh* Fine, no 3-D, but the origin story is there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Portfolio Review

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! Ended up buying a Lettermatic EXTREME and it tried to kill me, that should explain my absence.
> 
> In all seriousness, I've had this sitting in my hard drive for a while now, and having fended off the Lettermatic, I am now able to present this story to all you Nextwave-loving folk out there.
> 
> Nextwave and all associated characters belong to Marvel and is the creation of (the awesome) Warren Ellis, Stuart Immonen, and the great, great people who worked on the book. Good news, they're not in your room and touching your stuff. They're in my room, touching mine.
> 
> Comments and criticisms are welcomed. As always, enjoy!

Years ago, aboard the H.A.T.E. Aeromarine.

Dirk Anger, director of the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort was having his usual dinner of raw animal he caught and killed himself when one of his aides came into his office, carrying a set of files.

"....Sir?" The aide closed the door behind her, holding the files close to her chest nervously.

Dirk, voraciously munching on a goat leg, looked up from his dinner with a stern expression. "What?"

"These are the list of candidates you asked for." The aide approached his desk and set the files down on the desk before taking a few steps back.

Throwing the leg behind him onto the rest of the carcass, Dirk leaned forward, taking the files. "For the Nextwave Squad?" Dirk scoffed, "Nextwave, what kind of ☠☠☠☠ name is that anyway?"

\--NEXTWAVE: Has not been formed yet.--

Watching nervously, the aide speaked up, "It was the only name available, Sir. The Authority is still in use, the board thought Planetary sounded too space-age, and Stormwatch sounded like a weather program." The aide cleared her throat before continuing, "We had to buy the rights for this name from some unknown 1980s supervillains."

 

* * *

 

Dirk let out a sigh, "Very well, that will have to do." He opened the first file with a photo of an African-American woman in a white costume, labeled "Monica Rambeau. Codename: Pulsar, Photon, Captain Marvel". Squinting at the many codenames, he started opening the file.

"Powers: Turning her body into any form of energy in the electromagnetic spectrum. Not bad." Dirk nodded and turned the page. "Former harbor patrol lieutenant and former leader of the Avengers." He closed the file and set it aside. "She's in."

 

* * *

 

He eyed the next file, with the photo of a blonde woman in a leather jacket, a choker with a red gem on her neck, wielding a shotgun and a spear. "Looks promising." He opened the file and started reading.

"Elsa Bloodstone, daughter of Ulysses Bloodstone, famed monster hunter and the holder of the Bloodstone." Turning the page, he was presented with pictures of countless monsters, some dead, some only heads mounted on a wall. "Known trophies: Nosferatu, The Hideous Felch-Beast of Bihar Province, The Blight Beast of Krakow." The list went on and on for several pages. Just two pages in, Dirk slammed the file down on top of Monica's, saying enthusiastically, "She's in!"

 

* * *

 

Still cackling after reading the previous file, he took the next one. This one had the photo of a man who'd be right at home behind a desk, being an office drone (In the most literal sense of the word). His hair was in a side part and he wore a cheap suit. The only things remotely unusual were his red glasses and a somewhat stiff face. Dirk frowned and looked up from the file. "What is this guy, an accountant?"

The aide spoke up, "He actually works in insurance, si--" Dirk slammed his desk, interrupting her. "That was rhetorical; I'm trying to read here!" He glanced at the name, reading "Aaron Stack. Codename: X-51, Machine Man"

Going further into the file, his frown started turning upside-down. "Last of Professor Broadhurst's X-series combat robots, former reserve Avenger, fought The Hulk to a standstill." Dirk looked up at the aide, now standing further away than she was before, "Isn't this guy supposed to wear a hat?"

She quickly answered back, "That one was a police inspector, and he's unavailable." Dirk sighed and put the file with the other two candidates he accepted. "He'll do for now."

 

* * *

 

Eyeing the other files, he noticed there were only two files left. "Only five candidates?" The aide nodded, "Mandate from the board. They were strict about the team having to be a Five-Man Band, whatever that meant. And these were the only people our budget could get."

Dirk shrugged and picked up the next file, "Businessmen." This file had the photo of another blonde woman, blowing a bubble gum and holding what seemed to be a firework. The label on the file was unusually large, reading: "Tabitha Smith. Codename: Boom Boom, Meltdown, Boomer, Time Bomb." The list of codenames was enough for the label to cover three-quarters of the file cover. "This better not be a list of explosive codenames."

"Mutant ability to blow ☠☠☠☠ up, known kleptomaniac." Dirk's face started contorting into a rather unsettling grin, "Ex-member of the New Mutants, X-Terminators, and X-Force." He nodded and put the file with the rest. "Anyone who can blow ☠☠☠☠ up and steal them afterwards is good in my book."

 

* * *

 

As he was about to pick up the last file, he knocked over his glass of lizard squeezings, spilling the contents all over the file. Cursing loudly (with words so bad we'll spare you the details), he picked up the soggy file. The photo (now stained green) was of a man who wouldn't be out of place in a set of police mugshots. Other than that, his face was unremarkable. "Who the ☠☠☠☠ is this guy?" He opened the file, everything inside now unreadable because of the stains. "We don't even know his ☠☠☠☠ing name!" He shouted so loud, his Lizard Boom Stick fell out from his mouth.

The aide, now just inches away from the door, answered weakly. "T-that was our only copy of the file, sir. Would you like me to wipe that for you?"

To that, Dirk simply growled, sending the aide scurrying out the office. Looking back at the soaked file, he shrugged and tossed it on top of the rest.

Minutes later, the aide came back with someone in a hazmat suit, carrying a mop and bucket. Dirk looked up at them and shook his head. "No need." He grinned widely, took the gun from his holster and checked the slide. "Get me Human Resources. We're going headhunting!"

\--You have been reading (the origin of) NEXTWAVE (well, kinda).—

**Author's Note:**

> It's over, you can exit your bunkers now. But beware, for this is not the end of the origin of Nextwave! Dirk Anger will return (hopefully soon). 
> 
> Thanks to my beta, Dev, for bearing with the goat-eating, lizard squeezings-drinking awesomeness that is General D. Anger. Hope you won't mind if I subject you to Anger again a few more times in the near future.
> 
> (Quick sidenote, Elsa was blonde in her solo miniseries prior to Nextwave, apparently she dyed it before joining the team.)


End file.
